What do you sell yourself for?

2 Nephi 26

Christ shall minister to the Nephites—Nephi foresees the destruction of his people—They shall speak from the dust—The gentiles shall build up false churches and secret combinations—The Lord forbids men to practice priestcrafts. Between 559 and 545 B.C.

Nephi continues his prophesies. He talks about a lot of important topics in this chapter, but I was impressed with a small passing line:

"they sell themselves for naught; for, for the reward of their pride and their ^bfoolishness they shall reap destruction; for because they yield unto the devil and ^cchoose works of ^ddarkness rather than light..." (verse 10)

This made me wonder what do I sell myself for? Is my life spent serving and loving others? Not always. It's so easy to waste time on completely useless things. But, our lives are only a collection of moments. As I'm writing these words, this is what I'm selling myself for. So, is my soul and my life worth taking time to read my scriptures? Of course.

The other day, while putting Christmas things away, I found an old box that my Mom & Rick brought out for me. When they first brought it out to Raleigh, I had cracked it open and just seen a bunch of papers. I didn't open it again. It was put up in the attic in Raleigh and then followed us here. For whatever reason, I was compelled to find it the other day. I climbed the ladder into the attic and after some hunting found the box that read "Nichole's Keepsakes" There in the cold and darkness of the attic I opened the box. It was still filled with all those papers and notes. But, I started to notice they were all things from 1994/1995/1996. The time I joined the church and left for college. As I dug deeper I found a folder full of seminary report cards, YW certificates, talks I'd given. Then I saw something I recognized and hadn't seen in a long time. My journals. My heart was racing. These had been missing. Every single day was recorded. My history and the things "I'd sold myself for". The things I wrote in my journal refreshed my memories about those years of my life. Such a pivitol time for me. The many different lives I might be leading now, all spun off of those moments. I'm so grateful for the friends that were good to me. Especially, I'm thankful the Lord was guiding me down the many crooked paths I chose to walk. Sitting there reading letters & journal entries I could piece together the moments when I made decisions about the life I wanted to live. Amazing. I guess I'm old enough and sentimental enough to now appreciate the importance of writing everything down.

So, now after reading this chapter in 2 Nephi, I wonder about the choices I'm making now. Not as life altering as the one's we make when we are young, but small and quiet ones. One's that shape us more slowly. Am I selling myself for things of value? Is my life now the one I'd hoped for as an 18 year old? I hope so. For all the people who taught me the gospel and hoped I'd live it, does my life reflect a fulfillment of those hopes? So far, have I lived a good life with more moments sold to goodness? I hope.